Yesterday at around 6 am, 4 years ago

R and I

You were born of course. Your appearance capped a marathon 36 hour birthing that seemed more like 366 hours to my exhausted mind. I'd been carrying you inside my belly since sometime in mid-February of 2004 but truly it wasn't until you were seven months grown in there that I began to hug you all the time. Constantly rubbing at whatever part of you kicked outward into the world.

I often wondered what you'd be like before you were born. What mother doesn't toy with the mental rearrangement of family features in loving expectation of her child? I kept saying that I wanted you to look just like your Baba jan, and so you do but, only much later did I secretly admit to your aunt Alex that I also regretted that you had had nothing that was recognizably mine in your features. What did tía answer to that? "But Mili, he's got your laugh" and I have to admit that the truth of this statement pleases me like few others. Not particularly because I like my laugh, but because I love that you like laughing as much as I do. To hear it constantly bubbling forth out of those rosy lips is my confirmation of your continued happiness with life and, should there be anything of mine that I would always hope to see in you, then that cheerful disposition towards the world in general, is about the best legacy I could ever have passed on.

Happy Birthday child of my heart. Laughter for you always for as long as you live.

Tu Mami que te adora.