22.11.07

My dearest child:

For if you ever wonder how I feel about you now...

You have me. You have me completely in the palm of your sharp-nailed, softer than silk, little hand. I am yours, no one doubts it.

All my days, even the difficult ones, are somehow made remarkable by your kisses, by your smiles. When my voice calms you, when my nonsense words take your hurt away, when the circle of my arms is the only shelter you seek, I feel miraculous, empowered, mother-full. You embody the best, most brightest feeling in the world for me. Please know that your happiness, safety and peace are my daily goals.

Two places - the warm, baby fragrant hollow on the back of your neck, and the little velvety spot underneath your chin have no true rivals, save your father's lips, as my favorite places to plant a kiss and few sensations, fill me as completely as knowing that you are mine.

Of the many qualities I have discovered myself singularly capable of since I first held you in my arms, I thank you most for the gift of patience. I have reaped exceptional rewards in exercising it with you and perhaps, this would not have been the case had you not come into my life.

For when you are grown and need the reminder...

You have me. You still have me in the palm of your no longer velvety, no longer little, hand. I am yours. No one doubts it still.

All my days, especially the difficult ones, are somehow made remarkable by your kisses, by any smiles of yours headed my way. Should you need my voice to calm you, any nonsense or perhaps something that makes sense to listen to. I give it freely. Your pain I will take away however I can. Your happiness, safety and peace are still my daily concerns.

Because you are older and no longer allow me to kiss the back of your neck or that delicious spot beneath your chin, I will settle for the stubbly cheek. Your father's lips it seems, still have their rival, though I miss these tender acts more than you will ever know.

To the many qualities I have discovered myself singularly capable of with you besides patience, I add restraint and silence. I hope you appreciate this last for the gift it is. I find it harder to exercise than you could possibly think.

One final thing, it overflows me totally to know that you are mine. My pride in this knowledge recognizes no bounds, no limits. I created you but you have made yourself into who you are. I am grounded in the recognition that my life is fuller because you are a part of it. I remain lovingly your mother, no matter what.

2 comments:

  1. I don't have kids yet (hopefully in the near future) but I can clearly see how much as a mother I will love my child.... Very sweet.
    thank you

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is just beautiful. And it captures much of what any mother might feel. It's a profound experience, isn't it. L

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