Yesterday at around 6 am, 4 years ago

R and I

You were born of course. Your appearance capped a marathon 36 hour birthing that seemed more like 366 hours to my exhausted mind. I'd been carrying you inside my belly since sometime in mid-February of 2004 but truly it wasn't until you were seven months grown in there that I began to hug you all the time. Constantly rubbing at whatever part of you kicked outward into the world.

I often wondered what you'd be like before you were born. What mother doesn't toy with the mental rearrangement of family features in loving expectation of her child? I kept saying that I wanted you to look just like your Baba jan, and so you do but, only much later did I secretly admit to your aunt Alex that I also regretted that you had had nothing that was recognizably mine in your features. What did tía answer to that? "But Mili, he's got your laugh" and I have to admit that the truth of this statement pleases me like few others. Not particularly because I like my laugh, but because I love that you like laughing as much as I do. To hear it constantly bubbling forth out of those rosy lips is my confirmation of your continued happiness with life and, should there be anything of mine that I would always hope to see in you, then that cheerful disposition towards the world in general, is about the best legacy I could ever have passed on.

Happy Birthday child of my heart. Laughter for you always for as long as you live.

Tu Mami que te adora.


  1. Happy Happy B-day to your R. And I too suffer a little each time a stranger says how much my children favor their father. All the hard work of gestation and labor and they come out a carbon copy of the guy who merely delivered the sperm. I'm so glad for you that you see glimmers of you in laughter, in outlook. It's important to know that we, as mothers, are in there somewhere.

  2. Happy Birthday to R! You've given him a lot in that laugh, and in how you see the world. He's a lucky boy to have you for a mother. His world will be very, very big.

    I love that photo.

  3. happy birthday to little R. beautiful photo. i love that curly hair!

  4. That is a wonderful picture, Miles. Look at that fabulous face! (Yours, too!) It makes me happy, and that's no easy feat. I hope you both have a great year. Waiter, more candles and cake!

  5. Happy Birthday to R!!! Dear Clara looks nothing like me, either. I'm often asked if I'm her nanny... *sigh* But, she does seem to have my spirited nature, so there is that! A laugh is a special gift to give and it will serve him well! Again, Happy Birthday to R!!

  6. Happy Birthday, R! What a little cutie. Having your temperament is a blessing, I'm sure :)

  7. Cce: There is much of us in our children C. Whether we plan realize it or not. Your own beautiful children must have tons of wonderful things that come from you and you alone.

    Thank you for the Birthday wishes C.

    Jennifer: What an incredibly sweet thing to say. I hope his world is bigger and better than mine. He's a dreamer my little boy. Gracias Amiga.

    Erin: His curly hair is gone. Now he has his father's thick silky hair with just the minutest hint of a wave. I miss those cherub locks. They were adorable. Thank you Erin for stopping by.

    Bev: I love that picture. I love seeing all his pudgy rolls and my then dark hair. I Should go back to that shade. Thank you thank you and we will save auntie Bev some of that extra cake.

    Flutter: Oh he was, he was...

    Nona: If Clara has your spirited nature then she is very lucky indeed. Your 'nature' even when quiet is just about the best one could hope for as natures go. Namaste to you my friend.

    B: Thank you so much. You know also has my inclination for histrionics. That one is not so good.

  8. Happy Birthday to your R. This matter of parenting is a fascinating act of prognostication, no? Part steering, part shared destiny of genes, and part burying our face in our hands and saying, "No! Not that!" No wonder we invented humor. And how wonderful that you two can, at times, laugh at the absurdity of it all.

  9. Summer: Thanks! Liked the song you posted by the way.

    Ron: Thank you Ron. As to prognostication I tend to think of it more as divination. The trick is to pay attention to how the juju sticks fall. The gene part I blame all on M when the kid messes up bad and I take all the credit when he's done something shiny/marvelous. And I never EVER bury my face in my hands. Can't lose sight of what he's doing if you know what I mean. More often than not I tend to stick my hands in my hair and then I pull. Absurd? I'm sure I have no idea what you mean Ron. Finally, laughter saves the day ALWAYS.

  10. What a beautiful baby! Happy Birthday R ! Looks like you brought in somebody to the world that would make it a happier place because of his laughter.


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