30.7.08



All I can say is that if George spoke with half this little one's sense, we might not be in the pickle we find ourselves in.

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From the Reader's Digest archives and taking a cue from Ron, who hit a home run with his own funnies today, here are a couple of jokes that made me laugh.

The male population of our office was visibly impressed - and shaken - by the arrival of curvaceous Rita, a new member of the secretarial pool. (Her desk, strategically close to the coffee machine, increased consumption and profits noticeably.) One morning, my office door burst open. There stood Harvey, a middle-aged appreciator of life's finer things. "My gawd Dick!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide. "You should see Rita today. She's wearing a see-bluethrouse!"
Richard N. Whittington (Glendale, Mo.)

We had quite a large wedding, and throughout the preparations I was understandably
nervous. My fiancé, however, was the picture of nonchalance, allowing neither major problems nor minor details to ruffle him. He maintained his calm even during the ceremony. As I met him at the altar, he smiled happily and asked, "New dress?"
Carmen P. Santos (Alexandria, Va.)

While serving in a remote area of Southeast Asia, I wrote my wife of the long evenings, the
shortage of books and music, and the abundance of winsome lasses. I mused that I might fill the lonely hours learning to play a harmonica, if I had one. By return mail came a harmonica. When I finally returned home, I was met at the airport by my wife, who said, "All right, first things first. Let's hear you play that harmonica!"
Capt. Bruce Simnacher (San Antonio, Texas)

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Even though I've signed up for the National Do Not Call List say oh... about a billion times, I still get plenty of robot telemarketing calls every evening. Every once in a while though, there is the live, eager-beaver telemarketer at the other end of the line. Depending on my mood, this situation presents me with a golden opportunity to have some payback fun with someone who, almost invariably, butchers my name. Here's one memorable conversation I held with some poor fellow recently:

Telemarketer: May I please speak to Mely... mailen so and so...
Me: Absolutely!
Telemarketer: Am I speaking to Meelena?
Me: Could be...
Telemarketer: Are you Mailena?
Me: Like I said, maybe.

Telemarketer: How about if I can speak to the lady of the house?
Me: Fine! That would be me. But I'm not Mailena, meelena, mailen or Mely.
Telemarketer: That's OK. We want to speak to the lady of the house anyway about our...
Me: Don't you want me to tell you my name then?
Telemarketer: Sure, sure. What's your name?
Me: Silent.
Telemarketer: Ma'am? What's your name?
Me: Can't remember...
Telemarketer: You can't remember your name?Me: Some days I forget things. You mind telling me those names you mentioned before? Please?
Telemarketer: Click.

Oh the pranks I have pulled. Sometimes I write them down so as not to forget them since they amuse me so. Anyway, this guy below wins my telemarketer pranking prize hands down. Don't know why I never thought of this. I'll definitely try it from now on though. I've got a toddler at home and he is all the built in sound effect I need.

How To Annoy A Telemarketer

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So I have a new blog love to share. This girl writes with reality grit and keen powers of observation. In her posts, she spares nothing, not even herself when it comes to illuminating her stories with words. And yet, from everything she walks away a queen. Since I started reading her a couple of months ago, I thought that what Badaude has that makes her so charming, can be encapsulated in one word - style.

Anything done can be considered marvelous as long as there is an element of style don't you think? Did I say that she has it in spades already? She is also an accomplished illustrator and she blogs of her life in Paris. Do you really need to know more? Presenting... Badaude.


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So who would have thought that I was big in German Star Trek forum circles? And all mind you because I had the one date with the gentleman below:


Our date was in Paris however, there was that. And he was handsomer in person than on tv. And the way I met him is the kind of story that has everything to do with pure chance. Embarrassingly, I nearly jumped him on a public street... almost but not quite. If you wish to read about it go to these: Part I, Part II and Part III of my meeting Robert Beltran. Should you know German, read the unauthorized but quietly sanctioned German translations of my posts.

Well that's it and until my next Found Thursday, I trust your days go the way you will them and not the other way around.

15 comments:

  1. Thank you Milena, for the link and for the jokes. I love the "new dress" line. Perfect.

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  2. I believe that I would settle for George having the intelligence of that toddler.

    You did a great job, on Thomas' blog!

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  3. Ron: My pleasure. I like that one too. Reminds me of my own wedding day but in the inverse.

    Nick: Wasn't that a great video? I adored it. Every time that little boy went blah blah blah, your majesty... blah blah blah... I was most specifically reminded of dear old George. Did you like it really? I'd love to do something for you if you'd let me...

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  4. I used to turn the conversation back on the telemarketers: "Gee, I'd like to help you out, but the economy's really bad right now, and- hey, you've got a job- can you loan me a few bucks? Just 'till payday?" Without exception, they hung up on me.

    Now I just don't answer the phone. It's simpler.

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  5. Nick, consider it done... well as soon as I get back consider it done. And in the meantime, get cracking with my request list. ;-)

    Thomas: I'm going to try that one my friend. I love it. Also, I try not to answer the phone but they can be crafty with the identifier number.

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  6. Hi, Milena -- this is Flautist! How in the world have I managed to miss realizing you had a blog? D'oh! D'oh, d'oh! And what an incredible writer you are -- I was just reading over the Travels to Iran & was totally mesmerized. And looky - there's your picture, and look at you, all gorgeous and everything. There's so much to read here & catch up on, I'm overwhelmed.

    (Sorry to just jump in and be all off-topic and boisterous, but I was so excited & just had to say.)

    I'll be reading!

    Beverly (aka Flautist)

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  7. Beverly! Oh hello hello! Wait a second while I recover from my faint here. That'd be Joe passing me the smelling salts. Hold on, I'm dipping into the royal curtsy now. I actually do know how to do it you know - a token gift from that strange diplomatic upbringing I had. Anyway, glad you are liking the Iran posts. They were fun to write. Real happy you came over for a visit. I'll have cookies for you if you come again. Promise. ;-)

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  8. I intend to use your telemarketing strategy henceforth. It's BRILLIANT.

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  9. Slouching mom: Why thank you! Nevertheless, something tells me that you could come up with something way better. I've been missing you. Heading over to your blog even as I write.

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  10. Chakotay!!! since im a huge nerd i love star trek voyager and am in awe about you getting to know him, lol

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  11. Thanks for your wonderful comment on my blog...come back any time!

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  12. Beatblack: Hi. That makes two of us. My sheer luck meeting him.

    Smyrish: Thank you back for stopping by mine and taking the time to comment. I appreciate it.

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  13. I love your treatment of the telemarketers....thank goodness for caller ID, I can't stand to hear them and it takes every bit of grit to remain polite.

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  14. Suzanne: Sometimes the caller ID has a different type of identification. Does that happen to you at all?

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